Michal is proud of the fact that he designs calendars for women - is he feeling alright?

Posted:⚖ 15༛♐²⁶/₂₄♀

Pope Gregory tried to do a great thing when he reformed the Julian calendar. He was trying to reunite Rome with Orthodox Christianity. It didn't work as well as he expected. At first only a few countries followed him. Nowadays, though Christianity is still split, his reach is somewhat more global. We can do it too. We as a human community can try to reform our calendar to bring us closer together - and we don't need a Pope's permission to do it.

When I say the word art, a lot of people probably think of paintings and sculptures. These are common art forms, but they're not the most basic. One of the most basic forms of art is the calendar.

Consider the fact that, in another 2000 years, the Gregorian calendar will be off by 1 day. We'll know that because the vernal equinox will on average fall one more day away from the day it's supposed to be falling on, March 21. It's supposed to fall on that day because that was the day of the vernal equinox in the year of the Council of Nicaea.

The council that met at Nicaea was the first great ecumenical council of the Christian community and it was supposed to settle the date of Easter for all Christians twelve and a half centuries before the Gregorian calendar was proposed. The Pope was so keen on keeping the equinox close to March 21, he chopped 10 days off his new calendar. Presumably this was supposed to help Christians unite. Unfortunately, the attempt failed. However, it exemplifies the importance of a calendar in uniting a community.

I choose to use a calendar that starts the new year on the vernal equinox. It makes sense to me that a solar calendar should align its sequence of months in deference to an important solar phenomenon, rather than to the calendar date on which that phenomenon occurred seventeen centuries ago when people were using a completely different calendar.

You may not be prepared to adopt a different calendar as long as everybody around you is still using the one Pope Gregory reformed back in the 16th century. That's okay.

I'm offering you free calendar wallpaper so you can think about how important the calendar is as an art-form, not just as a way of counting the days but as a way of organizing our culture and giving our society a direction.

If you think society is heading in the wrong direction and needs a little help, you can try to celebrate Love Your Neighbor Day as I have done - by placing it between Saturday and Sunday - and seeing how you feel. You might feel power and freedom from having broken the cycle of Monday to Friday, Saturday, Sunday. I did. It empowered me and gave me a sense of peace that continues to fuel me to this day. Maybe it can fuel you too.

Pointer — Margo's HD Monthly Desktop Calendar, A.D. 2014
high-definition digital wallpaper
You can use a simple image processing program like Microsoft Paint or something free and useful like Irfanview to add dates to your schedule.
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
white
yellow
pink
blue
black
Download this monthly desktop calendar for November 2014 with a white background

Previous Month — Margo's HD Monthly Desktop Calendar, A.D. 2014
high-definition digital wallpaper
You can use a simple image processing program like Microsoft Paint or something free and useful like Irfanview to add dates to your schedule.
January
February
March
April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December
white
yellow
pink
blue
black
Download this monthly desktop calendar for November 2014 with a white background

Samples of Fiction from Michal's Corpus

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

If you're wondering...

How do I use this?

Just click on a title to see examples of "fiction" from a particular work. You'll stay on the same spot on the page, only the Table of Contents will disappear. To get back to the Table of Contents just click next to the image of the Bare Bottom imprint where it says "Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents."“And...?”

In the case of common words, a Table of Frequency and a Table of Collocation provide numerical information about how many times a word appears in its original or modified form and with which words. It can help to give you an idea of how common words are used and in what contexts. Find them in the "Common Words of English" part of the Education section.“Ok.”

Why a Fiction Corpus?

The popular understanding of the word "fiction" and its complement "non-fiction" is a reflection of the cultural influence of a classification system. The Dewey Decimal System is responsible for separating "fiction" from all other work and categorizing it by author's name. This has influenced the popular idea of fiction as a narrative that tends to be "untrue" and the product of an individual's fantasy, a bias compounded by modern art's century-long obsession with abstraction, surrealism and self-expression.“So...?”

My idea of fiction rests on the idea that art doesn't have to be factual to be a true reflection of our existence. Adam and Eve didn't have to exist as two individuals 700 generations ago for them to be true portraits of two human beings trying to work together.“And...?”

The Bible is a Fiction Corpus. It is a body of writing that isn't overly concerned with facts and yet its words carry weight. It was written by many different authors living in different places with different audiences in mind, yet everyone gleans something from it.“Right...”

In preparing my fiction corpus, I have striven to see the world through the eyes of others. Through the eyes of my Adams and Eves I hope that you too will glean some truth about our existence. At the very least you will learn some more about how one man can use the English language.“Ok.”

Who are you, Michal?

I'm just a guy who makes art. And if you're interested in making a solid investment in an aesthetic that supports our present and future welfare, then I will help you look for something that you can buy.“How...?”

Everybody makes. Everybody sells. Some people know how to protect their interests. Some better than others. Few people know how to listen. Listening to somebody means considering their interests as if they were your own. Going out and doing something to satisfy another person's interest is how we build a strong economy. Without a strong economy, democracy collapses.“And...?”

Buying 4Occupy is buying for democracy. Don't give your money to somebody who's ruining it. There's no such thing as cheap democracy, quick democracy, or easy democracy. There's good, solid, complete democracy and the tyranny of feudalism. Let's not mix the two. Let's not buy everything on the cheap. Let's not create another tyrant and enslave ourselves because it was easier not to think about what we were doing. Let's protect our interests. Let's listen.“Ok.”

Who's really behind this site?

Have you ever been to one of those post-it-yourself retail websites where there's a really attractive top-seller ready to give you tips on how you can be a top-seller too?“Uh...”

Have you ever been to a "job" interview where you sit in a line, walk through one door, get hired as a contractor and walk out another door, so that the other applicants don't realize that everyone's getting "hired" to work in the same market?“Maybe...”

The internet is full of people who are ready to exploit your ignorance. They are people who want to make money at the expense of our economy. They are cheats.“And...?”

I, Michal, am behind this site. Not some fat plutocrat exploiting my image. I like to do things the right way. I like to work with people who take the time to do things right.“Why...?”

I used to work for a company that didn't do things the right way. My labor was exploited because of mismanagement. That company was the United States Postal Service, an independent agency of the United States Government that is ultimately controlled by Congress. I'm mad because if the Federal Government can exploit labor, who is going to stop every other cheat from doing it?“Labor Unions...?”

Don't say labor unions. I went to my labor union and they did nothing. They ignored me because labor unions aren't democracies. Holding a free and fair election for a "representative" once in a blue moon does not equal people ruling. Democracy means open government. It means we the public need to accept the hard work. It's the only way to secure liberty and equality.“Ok.”

What's the difference between use and usage?

Definition-wise, not much. But the -age suffix is ultimately French in origin and with most things French, at least in American eyes, the immediate thought is that of something precious and arcane whose value should be judged very carefully. This is in contrast to the word France, which is associated with a beautiful place. Thus people in France or from France are beautiful, warm, kind people. Generous even. Unlike French people who suck. Unless you're frenching, in which case you're only sometimes sucking.“And...?”

Along those lines, usage means you're in bed. Use means you're just heavy petting. Also notice that common people, like common words, get used...whereas "proper" things make "appearances." Whether or not you are being exploited is a different story. Exploitation is what happens when somebody uses you or your property without listening to you. Listening is what happens when you consider another person's needs as if they were your own. You don't have to satisfy those needs. All you need to do is consider them. So many of us can't even do that.“So...?”

Help stop exploitation. Buy 4occupy. Buy a better world. Whether or not you feel you can afford to buy art, consider joining my protest. I want to guarantee every working man and every working mother on this planet a 15-day universal holiday. But I can't. Only we can do that. We have to work together. We have to accept the idea that everyone deserves time for himself and we need to build that time into a new kind of calendar. We have to give peace it's own day. We have to make love something you can't avoid. We have to make even the most miserly cold-hearted capitalist among us say that he cashed his check on Love Your Neighbor Day. There won't be any other way to say it once the Acceptance Calendar is widely adopted.“Ok.”

Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind — A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #2013

i found java's building. its crowded over here. i passed the only parking spot on the block. ill have to go around.

Justin Bieber

17 August, 3:09 PM

Frame #2035

ive got the number of the xbox. if it stays on the trunk line i can shadow it from the freeway. goddam traffic. get out of my way.

Justin Bieber

17 August, 5:08 PM

Frame #2037

harley's approaching a junction. if she gets off the trunk line im gonna be stuck on the freeway.

Justin Bieber

17 August, 5:11 PM

Frame #1940

the car is free and easy. i cant believe it. they say its boot or bribe. sometimes the little guy wins. he may not sleep but he wins.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

17 August, 12:31 PM

Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars — An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

Two weeks later, he accused K-Freight of stealing Dhagbod's oil. He accused K-Freight and other shipping companies of pandering to the United States by conspiring to keep prices low - which was true, since the U.S. had negotiated that deal in order to weaken the Martian government, but which was also making Dhagbod suffer monetarily. Seeking compensation, one of Sadatmo's henchmen insisted that K-Freight and all other shipping companies involved cancel their thirty billion dollars worth of debt owed by Dhagbod. Instead of waiting for negotiations, however, Dhagbod struck, attacking and occupying K-Freight headquarters in orbit around the Earth. This was too much: the Americans were not going to forgive this. Sadatmo had clearly gone too far. They called him a pirate, a renegade, and, whereas before, nobody knew his name, now people were told to fear Sadatmo: the bloodthirsty pirate! the terrible tyrant! the enemy of free trade!

– Verse 122 from the chapter called Childhood

"We thirst for freedom: for victory. We want the good - not the bad. We want to clean house."

The men cheered.

– Verses 381-382 from the chapter called Arms

Jesus went to get his letters. My cousin freed five men.

"Read this," he said, returning with a lamp.

– Verses 286-287 from the chapter called Arms

"No!" said the men.

"Do you owe them your lives?"

"No!" said the men.

"Do you owe them your freedom?"

"No!" said the men.

"Do you owe them anything?"

"No!" ("Our respect," somebody said.)

"Do you love God?"

"Yes!"

"Owe you Him your freedom?"

– Verses 314-323 from the chapter called Arms

Then the big one came: the one that made it all possible: the people who put the first man on Mars: the company that financed the first expedition: Yariba Corporation, based in Tokyo. They sent three vice-presidents! Then the chairman of the board! Then all Class-A stockholders got a free trip. They patted themselves on the back. The news organizations took a group photo. Then they announced their largest endeavor yet: an integrated power and irrigation system for the entire planet. It took years, but they did it. They bought materials and fuel, diamonds and robots. They made contracts. They traded companies with other Martian conglomerates, and, finally, under contract with SIS (Secure Interplanetary Shipping), by the license of the United Nations Organization, Yariba Corporation transported the first nuclear bomb to Mars.

– Verse 7 from the chapter called Childhood

Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed — A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

Oh my dear sister: if you are reading this, you already know under what circumstances this document must be written. I know that I will have called you, and you will most certainly have asked me what I've been doing, and I will undoubtedly have told you by the time you receive this letter that Albert is dying - but I have not yet told you, though I feel as if I were talking to you right now, and I must explain everything to you as if you were this paper, as if it were part of your body, the excess of your skin, temporarily grafted onto this cheap writing surface so that my pen, the natural extension of my steady hand, could make its furtive inscriptions, gently massaging your senses, while I prepare to hurt you, to harm your gentle skin, to break your heart by incising the horrible truth of my situation.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 2, Poetics, Paragraph 2

His most recent visit has confirmed my opinion: Nike is a slave to his own comfort - and his bonds are such, and his potential freedom of such an unreasonable nature, that Reason cannot help him: for Nike is also a slave to Reason, and comfort is very reasonable. Naturally, I would otherwise praise his analytical devotion, but in these circumstances, I must accept that his mind and his body, that the appetite and reason are conspiring against his soul.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 1, Cancer, Paragraph 8, Clauses 1-2

If something were to happen in the future, something drastic, something life-changing that really made him reconsider himself, his patterns of behavior would undoubtedly alter - but, he would still be Nike: he will have changed in a way entirely unique to himself. And being a changed man - a reformed Nike - would not hide the fact that here was a man we knew, that it was Nike who changed, that he is, in fact, a changing Nike. And I can only hope and pray that Nike changes for the better. His prospects in France are obscure to say the least, and he has confessed as much. But as far as his future goes, I am not worried about his current occupations, or whatever he is planning on doing. I am more worried about his well-being.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 1, Cancer, Paragraph 5, Clauses 17-23

Their illnesses are probably much stronger and more subtle, more insidious than a brain tumor - less fatal perhaps, but leaving a person much more insensible.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 2, Poetics, Paragraph 6, Clauses 3-4

Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla — A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

"There's a Monkey Ball team based near the north pole-perhaps you've heard of them: the Sams Town Blackguards. They're owned by a Manga person named Zyplukk. He's not high on our list of priorities. I want you to hang around the team. Take pictures. Send them wirelessly back to us."

"That's it?" Read sneered. "How much?"

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story about what it means to exclude people

"That is footage," explained the judge, "from a planted security camera on the nightstand of a human bookmaker who lived on the far side of the moon. You can see him in the left-hand corner. He's lying in bed."

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story set on the moon

The concourse was crowded. Manga People were everywhere. It took a while to get to the vehicular elevator. Tatum was glad she didn't have to rub shoulders with so many aliens.

– from “Dirty Manga People Are Disgusting,” a spooky story set on the dark side of the moon

Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall — A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

LESBIAN: How would he feel if he saw us?

MS. JACKSON: What does it matter?

LESBIAN: It does.

MS. JACKSON: Why?

LESBIAN: I don't want hurt him either.

MS. JACKSON: Is that what you're afraid of? Are you afraid of what people might say?

LESBIAN: That's ridiculous.

MS. JACKSON: Are you afraid of having to stay here on Norfolk?

LESBIAN: I'm not afraid of anything.

MS. JACKSON: Neither am I. I'm not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid of arson or gossip or what people might say if they knew about us. I've been set free from all of those things. I'm no longer afraid of being hurt. Oh, Homo! Do you know what I suffered? It was worse than any prison. The walls were all around my heart. It was like being perpetually pinched. I am grateful to you for saving me from all of that pain. You showed me freedom.

– ACT I, lines 899-908

MS. JACKSON: What about my heirloom?

GREY GOOSE: What heirloom?

MS. JACKSON: The one you stole.

GREY GOOSE: I didn't steal anything.

MS. JACKSON: Don't lie to me.

GREY GOOSE: I didn't.

LESBIAN: I did. I packed it away in my bag. I have two tickets for tonight's flight: one for me and one for you. Come. We'll explore the world as your ancestors did: the English and the Polynesians. They went from west to east; we'll go from east to west. We'll show the lost and the lovelorn what true devotion means. We'll scale Victory Peak in China. We'll sail the Punjab. We'll get lost in Gargas Cave. We'll bathe in the hot springs beneath Mount Hekla. We'll catch a Broadway show. We'll do some shopping at Shinjuku Station. We'll do anything your heart desires. All you have to do is liberate yourself. Let your passions run free. Someday we'll return to your native land. It won't ever be the same again. Nevermore will you be shamed. Woman, you'll have made the entire world yours.

MS. JACKSON: Nameless Pain! How am I to deny a penitent husband - newly birthed in remorse, in truth, in love, and desirous of similar gifts from me, his lawfully wedded wife, who, for so long, and with so many tears, kept watch over this heretofore seemingly endless and vain gestation - yet relish this sudden appearance of life: this infant curiosity: this foundling whose love demands more than my adoption could ever give? Oh, Homo: a thousand hearts couldn't beat as strongly as you have made mine beat. This is my home. I can no sooner leave it than change my body for that of a man. The world is yours; go out there and take it. Please leave me in peace. I beg you.

LESBIAN: I'll go. Though it pains me more than female circumcision, I'll go. I'll go because I love you.

– ACT II, lines 357-365

LUKE: Whacko! I better get meself back to the post.

ALICE: What for?

LUKE: We need money: three thousand dollars worth. That's the price of freedom!

– ACT I, lines 1072-1074

LUKE: Why not? You've lived in peace for so long.

FLETCHER: If by peace you mean we've committed just about every crime except murder.

ALICE: Is that true?

MS. JACKSON: My son likes to exaggerate.

FLETCHER: Consider it. In a community of such close quarters with nowhere to go, the only thing you can't ignore is a dead body. Besides that, anything goes.

MS. JACKSON: Feel free to ignore my son's imagination.

FLETCHER: The next time I'm selected for a jury, I'm not going to lie when they ask me if I've ever been accused or been the victim of a crime.

ALICE: You lied?

FLETCHER: I said no.

MS. JACKSON: When have you been the victim of a crime?

– ACT I, lines 112-121

Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats — A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

"Hungary brought it upon herself. She should never have strayed toward the United Nations. She was faithless."

"She was looking for freedom."

"She was asking for a spanking."

"You are saying she should have put up with the Kremlin?"

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that might ease one's sense of distaste depending on your outlook

Light seeps in. A tunneling creature has freed us. We are lifted on the breeze. I leave my bags behind. I must cling to my comrade. For an instant a field lies ahead. Then the sky. Then the backs of doves. I wonder carelessly if we are approaching heaven but the spinning keeps its relentless pace.

– from “Shovels Fall,” an interesting story about the cycle of social upheaval throughout history

Inside the cage stood a pretty little girl with the legs of a giant spider. From behind those legs a hairy abdomen suddenly poked down. It spewed a thin secretion across the faces of the men. They cried out and dropped to the floor. They started writhing in pain. Their movements jerked more and more until their limbs finally locked in a rigid posture. They heard helplessly the sound of a man calmly climbing up the stairs. It was Orbitz. The men recognized him. Unable to express their shock their eyes blazed with confusion and fury. Orbitz knelt among them. "I'm sorry," he said. "The creature poisoned you with a paralytic. At this dosage it's fatal. I didn't want any of you to die. It wasn't up to me. She didn't want to take any chances with her freedom. I wish I could stay with you until the end. Unfortuately the creature has a short refractory period. I have to surgically remove her gland before she's capable of killing me."

– from “The Death and Life of Captain Orbitz,” a science fiction romance in the tradition of Stanislaw Lem, if you know who that is

The people are the ones who set me free. I don't care how you twist it. I didn't stir people up. My father didn't stir people up. He explained to them what happened. I did what I had to do. I wasn't about to be punished for something people just didn't understand. People didn't want to understand what happened. They've got more important things to worry about. But at least they listened. My father told them not to take his last child and they had mercy. For him. Not for me. They would've killed me.

– from “The Testament of Publio Orazio,” a horror story based on good intentions coming straight out of Roman mythology

I checked the clock. Thirty seconds to midnight. I dropped the keys. I unbuttoned my sweater. I tore it off. I threw it towards the couch. I pulled up my dress. I twisted out of it. I dropped it. I brushed down the straps of my bra. I reached back. I wrenched apart the clasp. My breasts bounced free. I dropped the bra. I rolled down my tights. I almost tripped. I yanked them off. I shoved down my panties. They fell to my feet. I pulled one leg out. My toes got caught. I flapped them around. They were loose. I kicked the panties behind me.

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that might ease one's nerves depending on your outlook