Michal's HeadlinesEnglish Online Free

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natural clays by RT Vanderbilt

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A map showing R.T. Vanderbilt's mines and processing plants in the western United Sates
Clay ores mined in Nevada, Arizona & California
Margo behind a tree

English Online Free, a cultural reference

Understanding the world from all angles...

Michal is contemplating the potential of amplifying his terrific Fiction Corpus with more novels; cites fatigueDictionary icon

I don't question the possibility of utilizing English as a worldwide standard. I don't trust in the formalistic plan by which English is taught.Pointer

Strengthening one's finesse for a language isn't like bringing about a hotter furnace. A language - a spoken tongue - isn't just an instrument that you can learn to exploit with greater amounts of precision. A language can not be insulated from the philosophical currents of a clan of people of which it is a description. A language isn't recited; it happens - and keeps happening as long as a circle of people keeps using it.

To make a student recite English is to cheat her out of its cultural context. An informed instructor must develop a technique for introducing it; the discerning pupil goes out to seek it.

A dictionary - properly used - can become an influential tool. The best dictionaries describe words on the basis of a particular corpus, a set of writing of various scope and consistency. A corpus can contain anything from a book about literature to a whole bunch of fiction characters. I burnt many candles developing my "humongous" Fiction Corpus to form a precise type of dictionary based on the ability of one man to tell a story in myriad forms. It is a labor of love and listening.

I have drawn up a million words and I have reduced them, reformulating them - not merely to teach an American language but to promote the human spirit, and to provoke that spirit or soul not just to recite but to happen.

Table: English Verbs That Connect With Other Verbs, Their Inflections and Rules of SyntaxPointer

Sorted alphabetically

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The syntax of English verbs is one of the most challenging aspects of the language for foreign-speakers to learn and for native-speakers to translate into other languages.

I have included in this table many important verbs that are used to create verb phrases. Patterns of irregular inflection are highlighted using various colors. Optional constructions are separated by a slash.

A term within a set of double dashes signifies that the addition of the term is an optional construction. A plus sign next to the term 'me' signifies that it must be accompanied by the term 'to.'

The term 'me+' in parentheses signifies that the passive voice is an optional contruction but that it must include the term 'to.'

Verbs That Connect With Other Verbs, Their Inflections and Rules of Syntax
Keyword InflectionsAdjectivo-Syntactic FormsSyntax of Inflections
[infinitive] sing--plur3rd p. plurtime [further] sing--plurperfectimperfect [noun] with the keyword [infinitive]with the perfect formwith the imperfect form
(ha)/(')ve(ha)/(')s(ha)/(')dhad[the] having-me/to---me-
[be] (a)/(')m--(a)/(')re(i)/(')swas--werebeen[a] being-to---
admitadmitsadmittedadmittedadmitting [admission/admittance]--(to)--
adviseadvisesadvisedadvisedadvising [advisement]-me+to--
agreeagreesagreedagreedagreeing [agreement]-to-
allowallowsallowedallowedallowing [allowance]-me+to--
appearappearsappearedappearedappearing [appearance]-to-
arrangearrangesarrangedarrangedarranging [arrangement]-to-
askasksaskedasked[the] asking/[ask]-(me+)/to-
bearbearsboreborn[the] bearing/[birth]-to-can't bear-
beginbeginsbeganbegun[the] beginning-to--
better-
can[could]-
carecarescaredcared[the] caring/[care]-to-
choosechooseschosechosen[the] choosing/[choice]-(me+)/to-
claimclaimsclaimedclaimed[the] claiming/[claim]-to-
comecomescamecome[the] coming--(to)---
considerconsidersconsideredconsideredconsidering [consideration]-
continuecontinuescontinuedcontinuedcontinuing [continuation/continuance]-to--
daredare(s)dareddared[the] daring--{(me)/+/(to)}--
decidedecidesdecideddecided[the] deciding/[decision]-to-
demanddemandsdemandeddemanded[the] demanding/[demand]-to-
deservedeservesdeserveddeserved[the] deserving/[desert]-to-
dodoesdiddone[the] doing-
encourageencouragesencouragedencouragedencouraging [encouragement]-me+to--
expectexpectsexpectedexpectedexpecting [expectation]-(me+)/to-
failfailsfailedfailed[the] failing/[failure]-to-
forgetforgetsforgotforgot(ten)[the] forgetting-to--
getgetsgotgot(ten)[the] getting-me+/to---
gogoeswentgone[the] going--(to)---
happenhappenshappenedhappened[the] happening-to-
hatehateshatedhated[the] hating/[hatred]-to--
helphelpshelpedhelped[a] helping--{(me)/+/(to)}--can't help-
hesitatehesitateshesitatedhesitatedhesitating [hesitation]-to-
hopehopeshopedhoped[the] hoping/[hope]-to-
intendintendsintendedintendedintending [intention]-to-
keepkeepskeptkept[the] keeping-
learnlearnslearnedlearned[the] learning-to-
letletsletlet(-)letting--(me)--
likelikeslikedliked[the] liking/[like]-(would like me+)/to--
loveloveslovedloved[the] loving/[love]-to--
makemakesmademade[the] making--(me)--
managemanagesmanagedmanagedmanaging [management]-to-
maymight-
must-
needneed(s)neededneeded(needing) [need]-me+/to--
neglectneglectsneglectedneglectedneglecting [negligence]-to--
offeroffersofferedoffered[the] offering-to-
ought-to-
permitpermitspermittedpermittedpermitting [permittance]-me+to--
planplansplannedplanned[the] planning/[plan]-to-
preferpreferspreferredpreferredpreferring [preference]-to--
preparepreparespreparedpreparedpreparing [preparation]-(me+)/to-
pretendpretendspretendedpretendedpretending [pretense]-to-
promisepromisespromisedpromised[the] promising/[promise]-me+/to-
proposeproposesproposedproposedproposing [proposal]-to--
refuserefusesrefusedrefusedrefusing [refusal]-to-
regretregretsregrettedregrettedregretting [regret]-to--
rememberremembersrememberedrememberedremembering [remembrance]-to--
seeseessawseenseeing [sight]-me--me-
seemseemsseemedseemed[the] seeming-to-
shallshould-
standstandsstoodstood[the] standing-to-can't stand-
startstartsstartedstarted[the] starting/[start]-to--
stopstopsstoppedstopped[the] stopping/[stoppage]-to--
swearswearssworesworn[the] swearing-to-
tendtendstendedtended[the] tending-to-
threatenthreatensthreatenedthreatenedthreatening [threat]-me+/to-
trytriestriedtriedtrying [trial]-to--
urgeurgesurgedurged[the] urging/[urge]-me+to--
waitwaitswaitedwaited[the] waiting/[wait]-to-
wantwantswantedwanted[the] wanting/[want]-me+/to-
will[(woul)/(')d]-
wishwisheswishedwished[the] wishing/[wish]-me+/to-

Help End Domestic Violence With ArtOne of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

Strength and dignity are her clothing...

Proverbs 31:25

Author's Note: I have been enjoined from sharing the details of my true romance adventure until such time that the other party is prepared to present her perspective on the affair arrangement...Pointer

When I arrived in Europe on the 20th of June, 2011, I had no plan and certainly no idea that by the end of the week I would be practicing photography with a woman I had never met, a naturist who had never before allowed herself to be photographed nude. It was the first of a whole series of firsts for the both of us.

As an artist inspired by a young woman's struggle with self-esteem and bulimia, body acceptance had always featured prominently in my aesthetic. Having recently discovered naturism and its mantra of body acceptance in the United States, I was eager to explore the style and philosophy of naturist clubs and the beauty of naturist campsites in Europe. By a trick of fate, I found myself first in Bielsko-Biała, Poland. Margo's home.

Being from America, all I had to do in Europe was turn on the radio to hear an American song. All I had to do was walk into a movie theater to see an American movie. To be understood all I had to do was speak English. Being from Poland, she couldn't stand listening to the radio for all the political nonsense being bandied about. She didn't like watching American movies because she claimed they all ended the same way. She didn't want to speak English with me because she not only wanted to say things correctly but she wanted to say them her way and nobody had ever succeeded in teaching her how. I desperately wanted to understand. She wanted to be understood.

I've never gone hungry without deserving it. I've never been systemically beaten by a parent. I've never been fondled by a priest. That doesn't mean I can't listen to somebody who has had to experience such abuse and it doesn't mean I can't try to understand. Margo and I traveled 6,000 miles together. We slept in the same tent. We had to listen to each other. A person shouldn't need 6,000 miles to do it. We should be able to listen to each other just because we want to. We should've been taught to do it. If we haven't been taught, we should be learning how to do it and learning fast.

One of Margo's pictures from our trip across Europe.

6,000 miles across Europe with a complete stranger

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Day 12
7/31/2011
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THE DISAPPEARING WOMAN, THE DISAPPEARING MAN...Pointer

a collection of modern art prints and posters

During our trip across Europe, Margo very bravely opened up to me and to the camera. It was a difficult thing to do considering the scars that she carries. I wanted to share with the world her often joyful, often sad, often angry but always liberating experience except that the Internet is full of pictures of naked women and men and full of trolls who abuse them.

I realized that what I really need to point out is not the openness that Margo and I cultivated between ourselves, but the darkness that continues to surround us. When I censor nudity, I do so in a way that does not compromise the integrity of the human body. In censoring the photographs that Margo and I took during our trip, I was quick to notice that in those pictures where Margo was at her most open, at her most unguarded and most relaxed, in a word, when she was herself and basking in the sun I was forced to blacken her completely.

Why does our society drive people into darkness? Why can we not accept ourselves as we are? Why can we not accept our bodies? Have we truly become eunuchs? Or are we capable of defying the sickness that pits us against each other? Together we could conquer the devils that abuse us.

Whether you enjoy being nude or not, whether you've been photographed nude or not, but especially if, for you, like for Margo, it's something you never thought you would do, consider submitting your own photograph to be published in a censored manner as a form of protest against the ubiquitous presence of the human body on the internet, naked or not, that is published and duplicated ad infinitum without context and without regard for the identity or the needs of the individual being depicted.

Michal's Dictionary:
English Online Free

Each successive pillar of culture is built upon the previous one. Just as you cannot have Saturday without Friday, you cannot have a strong military without successful children. You can't have successful children without good science. Proper science requires a strong and confident body politic to accept its conclusions. A strong body politic, a peaceful assembly, is made up of strong families. A family is built upon labor. Labor is guided by art.

Good art is a good idea well expressed. A victory over oblivion. Carry that thought down the line. Efficient labor sows the fruit of capitalism. The members of a loving family pray to each other. A just constitution keeps the assembly focused. Science studies movement. Education inspires children. Children grow strong and defend our freedom. Democracy thrives.

Our problem is not that we lack a strong army or smart teachers or scientists or political dialogue or money or prayer. Our probem is that nothing ties it together. Our culture is unraveling. We have business executives who only care about the bottom line. We have church leaders who only care about the good name of the church. We have politicians who only care about getting re-elected. We have artists who only care about their self-expression.

Our pillars of culture have climbed quite high. Yet there's nothing but hot air at the top. There's no roof over our heads. We're exposed. Either nobody taught the people at the top to listen to each other or the only way to get to the top is by not listening. Don't say nobody taught us how. Whenever people try we crucify them. That has to change. We need to accept the fact that we are building this church of Man together and it needs a roof.

We need to bridge the pillars of culture.

Pronunciation of English Online FreeMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish a pronunciation for the words "english online free."

Video of me pronouncing "english online free."

Definition of English Online FreeMargo on a trampoline

I have yet to publish the definition of English Online Free.

I'm sure it won't take too long.

References for english online freeMargo on a trampoline

  • I have yet to find good references for English Online Free

     

Samples of Fiction from Michal's CorpusMargo on a trampoline

An image of young Michal sitting on a potty in front of a typewriter

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

Bare Bottom ImprintBack to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents

Samples of Fiction from Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind

A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #5032

i got the installation chief on the radio. chinese. limited english. you come on boar. he says. i cant tell what hes thinking.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

6 November, 6:12 PM

Frame #6204

i cant wait to find out whats happened to this city. subsidence events. exclusion zones. i want everything spelled out in plain english.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 8:39 AM

Frame #6182

megaphone man speaks english. with no accent. he wants us to identify ourselves. to explain what were doing in the exclusion zone.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

23 December, 8:17 AM

Frame #6227

one of the guardsmen spoke english.

Justin Bieber

23 December, 9:02 AM

Frame #4140

im no scientist says becky. chemotaxis data could stare her in the face. so what. but a memo to china. reddit says as long as its in english.

Sprint "Iphone" Case

28 September, 9:30 AM

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Samples of Fiction from The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars

An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

That night, it was not a sheep I saw, and yet, I stared at it like the hungry wolf - the lonely wolf. It was a rare breed I had the privilege to behold, the kind that demands attention and respect. I gave both in overwhelming and puzzling varieties, which came to be received with what seemed like bewildered embarrassment. It was confused: my little, monkey-owning friend. With what strange regard that man - that English-speaking man - who came from nowhere whipping my poor, unfortunate monkey with his shirt and then, sitting right across from me, toasting me with his mug, avoids my eyes for a while until he catches them, unexpectedly, holding them with a smile, a genuine smile: that cannot be denied - compliments me, the creature must have thought, and again, and again, as I kept repeating the maneuver with apparent innocence.

Verse 437 from the chapter called Bohemia

I smiled. She laughed a fake laugh and walked away. Following her with my eyes, I watched her disappear into a faraway booth. Putting my shirt on, I noticed Tereska was still waiting for me nearby. She was too afraid to approach. I beckoned. She came forward. She didn't speak English.

Verse 424 from the chapter called Bohemia

In Treblinka, after looking almost everywhere, your father finally found your mother behind the County High School Number One, where several pilgrim groups were camping out and where some priests were trying to persuade the bashful, including your mother, to participate in their group dance. She kept saying, "No, no: I'm looking for my tent. Do you understand? My tent? I've lost it." They didn't speak English very well. In the end, they decided to let the crazy girl do what she wanted.

Verse 296 from the chapter called Security

"Fake" hand-tinted photographs were everywhere: a whole system of underground painters worked day and night to fake old painting. Most of the middle class had "fakes," but if you were a Capitalist - or from a Capitalist family - and you possessed a "fake," you were liable to be disgraced. Your grandmother once happened to find a "fake" in her collection; it caused a great scandal. It even made the front-page news on a day when thirty Union soldiers from France were killed in a terrorist attack on Bremen's Town Hall. The shame of the whole affair was tempered somewhat by the fact that your grandmother made the announcement herself, took full responsibility for the outrageous tragedy, and refused, out of sheer kindness, to identify the seller, who, being a rich and respectable and therefore presumably innocent young man, had been duped, according to Madame Panzer-Tank's English-language publicists, by some terribly ambitious (and yet, terribly talented) underground and (as yet) underappreciated artist.

Verse 16 from the chapter called Childhood

My grandfather's nephew was celebrating something. When I got to his house, I didn't have to knock. The loggia was occupied by a man and a woman smoking. Shaking their hands, I tried to explain that my grandfather's nephew lived here; this was his house; I was trying to visit him. My knowledge of Czech was poor to say the least; Polish only helped so much; English, even less. The man started using German words to help me, but that only confused.

Verse 230 from the chapter called Bohemia

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Samples of Fiction from Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed

A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

There were two books put aside separately. One was the New Testament; the other was an Hungarian cookbook. Both of them had seen a lot of use, but they were beautifully bound. The New Testament was a special edition, in two languages: Hungarian and English. I opened the book to the Gospels and, sure enough, one side of the page was Hungarian and the other side English. There were notes penciled all over the margins, and some serious underlining; difficult vocabulary words on either side were circled and referenced. The Gospels were heavily marked up, so were the Acts of the Apostles. I turned to something a bit more out of the way: the First Letter to Timothy, Chapter Five - that too was marked up. I was impressed. I wondered whether Albert had learned more English or more theology.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 7, Revealing Literature, Paragraph 3

But that was only because he sat next to her in English class, and everybody knew that he really had no serious claim. However, it was true that he had tallied a few genuine moments. But those weren't so difficult to come by. It was easy to get Luka to read something, and then she would have to take out her glasses. But the problem was that she would look down before she put them on, and then she would take them off before she looked up. So you weren't really spending any serious time. Now I realized this, and I thought of a plan to achieve total victory. We were sitting on the beach, and I was waiting for the best opportunity. A few of our friends were playing with a ball in the water. I was waiting for my cousin to leave me alone with Luca; she was definitely not interested in playing ball, and I, consequently, was suffering from a bout of cramps. Finally, my cousin was compelled to go, and I immediately began a conversation about school and schoolteachers and classroom behavior, et cetera.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 8, Financial Instruments, Paragraph 18, Clauses 5-16

LUKA: How do you say this again, in English? La parthénogenèse?

NIKE: Oh yeah: parthenogenesis.

LUKA: Partheno-ge-ne-sis.

NIKE: Yeah, that's some freaky shit, man.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 2, The Second Day, Part 1, Labor & Economic Reform, Section 13, Discussing the Birds and the Bees, Paragraphs 12-15

INDIE: I don't think Nixon believed him. I think you are fooling with me.

NIKE: Me! never: you misheard the translation.

INDIE: Is my English not good enough?

NIKE: No: it's beautiful.

– Title 2, Regarding the Romaniac, Part 1, Section 27, Penetration, Paragraphs 74-77

I asked her to bring this up casually in conversation, so that I could elaborate on the compliment, ever so innocently - but she was afraid to do it, owing to her quality of English, which was still not very good; but she agreed and after a bit of rehearsal we met with Macy on the weekend. Once we were settled down at a certain restaurant, I learned that Macy was from Boston, that he was acquainted with you, having met you our freshman year, and that he was here in Austria for the summer for no other reason but that he wanted some culture - that, and the fact that his parents had met here in Vienna in nineteen seventy-two and had fallen madly in love.

– Title 1, Regarding Peaches and Bananas, Part 2, Section 4, Meeting a Man in Austria, Paragraph 3

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Samples of Fiction from Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla

A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

They headed towards the refrigerators. Clark muttered, "Water."

Shephard groaned, "I don't think these people understand English."

"What," asked Clark, "is the Chinese word for water?"

"It's shoe-eh."

"Shoe, eh?"

"As in, Feng Shoe-eh."

"You mean, Feng-Shway?"

"No, Shoe-eh."

"Shhweh?"

"That's the word for tax."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring foreign espionage

The woman removed Shephard's blindfold. Shephard paused a moment before opening his eyes. He smiled. Pepsi's photo hardly did her justice. She was gorgeous. "Are you sure you don't have a sister?" he asked. "She says you play the jigatch very well." The woman puffed in disbelief. "She says you should never have given it up." She shook her head. "My name is Shephard. Shephard Saylor. This is my associate, Clark Hausmann." Shephard said in English, "Say hello, Clark."

– from “Two Dudes and a Chinese Desert,” a friendship story featuring an example of oppressed people

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Samples of Fiction from Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall

A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

FLETCHER: What?

ALICE: You wouldn't stick me up in one of your precious pine trees, would you?

FLETCHER: Not if you stop.

ALICE: What's the matter? Don't you like your native tongue?

FLETCHER: You have no idea how many times I've had to repeat stupid phrases for guests.

ALICE: I'm sorry. I keep forgetting that you're a-

FLETCHER: What? A native? That's alright. I'm white and I speak English.

ALICE: It's funny, isn't it? Norfuk: half-Tahitian, half-eighteenth-century English.

FLETCHER: It's got its charm.

ALICE: I wonder what Pitcairn was like when the mutineers got there with their wives.

– ACT I, lines 602-611

MS. JACKSON: What about my heirloom?

GREY GOOSE: What heirloom?

MS. JACKSON: The one you stole.

GREY GOOSE: I didn't steal anything.

MS. JACKSON: Don't lie to me.

GREY GOOSE: I didn't.

LESBIAN: I did. I packed it away in my bag. I have two tickets for tonight's flight: one for me and one for you. Come. We'll explore the world as your ancestors did: the English and the Polynesians. They went from west to east; we'll go from east to west. We'll show the lost and the lovelorn what true devotion means. We'll scale Victory Peak in China. We'll sail the Punjab. We'll get lost in Gargas Cave. We'll bathe in the hot springs beneath Mount Hekla. We'll catch a Broadway show. We'll do some shopping at Shinjuku Station. We'll do anything your heart desires. All you have to do is liberate yourself. Let your passions run free. Someday we'll return to your native land. It won't ever be the same again. Nevermore will you be shamed. Woman, you'll have made the entire world yours.

MS. JACKSON: Nameless Pain! How am I to deny a penitent husband - newly birthed in remorse, in truth, in love, and desirous of similar gifts from me, his lawfully wedded wife, who, for so long, and with so many tears, kept watch over this heretofore seemingly endless and vain gestation - yet relish this sudden appearance of life: this infant curiosity: this foundling whose love demands more than my adoption could ever give? Oh, Homo: a thousand hearts couldn't beat as strongly as you have made mine beat. This is my home. I can no sooner leave it than change my body for that of a man. The world is yours; go out there and take it. Please leave me in peace. I beg you.

LESBIAN: I'll go. Though it pains me more than female circumcision, I'll go. I'll go because I love you.

– ACT II, lines 357-365

(MS. JACKSON exits.)

KOKOMO: Oh, bittersweet news! That I might have my mistress's blessing to wed her son - her firstborn and only son: her pride and joy - and make a Catholic out of a Christian, when she knows her line - her ancient English stock - would rest entirely in my womb, fills me with great joy; but since that stock, if Madam's fears be true, is filled with an urge to plant one's seed in every jar and hole - to roam rakishly over the countryside regardless of warmth at home - I must gird myself to the possibility that my loins will not be enough: that fear of the yoke will upset my plan to reveal with success this very night my feelings to my beloved Fletcher!

– ACT II, line 28

ALICE: 'If you shoot want a yun wife rater?'

FLETCHER: 'I am not Ned Young. I'm not going to shoot anybody. I'm not going to chop anybody's head off with an axe. I'm not going to abandon you for anyone. I'm going to love you for the rest of my life. So help me God, I will. You don't have to run away anymore. You don't have to be afraid that someday you're going to want to hurt me. I will never give you cause.'

ALICE: 'You ton't know tis.'

FLETCHER: 'I do know it. I may be young, but I'm not stupid. I know what I'm doing. I'm following my heart. Even if a thousand men-of-war were to show up this very afternoon with a thousand brides for me to choose from, I wouldn't leave you: not for all the Englishwomen in the world. Who took care of the sprawlers with me? Who threw me Johnny Mills to save young Polly's life? You did. Do you remember that day when the wave nearly swept those infants away? Who saved their lives? We did. Tera-ura: "Sacred Dance." Mata Ohu. It's time we had children of our own. It's time for you to have a proper family. What say you? Will you marry me?'

– ACT II, lines 214-217

ALICE: Repeatedly.

FLETCHER: Yes.

ALICE: Why is that?

FLETCHER: Why not?

ALICE: Don't you think that's excessive?

FLETCHER: We don't have to do it if you don't want to do it. It's only pretend.

ALICE: You might as well have written in a sex scene.

FLETCHER: That's not a bad idea.

ALICE: I'm not going to support your work if this is your way of having your work support you.

FLETCHER: Perfect. Keep that tone of voice. We're both confused by this strange courtship. 'Susannah' - that's your English name - 'why do you fear my boat?'

– ACT II, lines 50-59

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Samples of Fiction from Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats

A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

"As a three-quarter Austrian, it should be. As a quarter American, with a last name like Stewart, Andreas sounds silly."

"Too many 's's."

"Only the Italians spell the name without an 's.' Italian men are comfortable with their masculinity. They don't mind the English-speaking world thinking they're women."

"Calling you Nike is Andrea's revenge."

"It's short for Nikita."

"That's a beautiful name. It's not manly."

"It means 'unconquerable.'"

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that might ease one's fears depending on your outlook

My father came from a Ukrainian family but he was born in the United States. He spoke English. Unlike my mother. The most she ever managed was an awkward "Would you like anything to eat?" whenever I had a friend over. Which wasn't very often.

– from “The Most Idiotic Actress,” a fictional story that has only a few facts mixed up as far as the author knows

I hate the English language. It's too curt. Rape. Suck. Lick. Bitch. Fuck. You. If the words had more syllables they wouldn't be so forceful. Deflowerment. Inhalation. Female Dog. Copulating. Those words don't inflame people's passions.

– from “The Backed-Up Toilet,” a literature story based on something that actually happened, namely to the author

"Your necklace spells Indiana with two 'n's. Only the English and the Hungarian spell it like that."

"You should be a detective."

"Only a Hungarian would call András by his Hungarian name."

Indiana laughed. "I'm so silly. I forgot I gave it away. Do you know where I was born? It wasn't Hungary."

"You were born in Austria."

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that might calm one's sense of distaste depending on your outlook

"My English is good. That's true. I went to school here in the States."

Indiana smiled. "I mean to say you speak with a clarity of purpose."

Nike feigned offense. "Are you saying I have an accent?"

"Not as bad as mine."

"Your accent is beautiful."

"You should hear me speak French."

"You should hear me speak Hungarian."

Indiana laughed. "My language is difficult."

"You'll have to teach me."

"It takes practice."

– from “St. Andrew's Eve,” a story of love that might ease one's fears depending on your outlook

Love is the answer...

What are we waiting for? Let's accept it!

Are you a eunuch?

The art show that defies abuse

Filth, Portraiture

Censorship says everything...as should modern wall art

It's natural to hide dirty things. They're embarrassing. But we need to keep in mind that when we hide things that are difficult, we make them seem dirty when they're really something else entirely. And when we keep things that are easy in plain sight, we make them seem clean when they really aren't. That is dangerous.

A miniature portrait of MichalMargo at the beach

Help me maintain the "English Online Free" page...

If you love women and art...

Michal is exporting art from Poland...is he meshuggah?

Michal's Sales Pitch
Lot 1: Silesian Handicrafts

  1. T-shirt fundraiser for sale

    Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser for sale.

    Last T-Shirt with the logo that I designed. Pointer

    From a set of, I believe, twenty produced by Margo and given out to a portion of the last 20 women to finish the 20th anniversary Fiat Road Race in Bielsko-Biała, cf. the movie. This is the last one left in it's original packaging and my supporters - like the poor women of Bielsko - are going to have to fight for it. Whoever invests the most money with me, and who lets me borrow it to invest in the next lot, will not only be rewarded with some beautiful piece of art, but will get this priceless t-shirt as a reward for being my top supporter. $1000.00 or best offer. Remember to authorize me to hold the sum as credit against a future purchase and to authorize me to borrow against it.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #1 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  2. Felt handbag for sale

    Handcrafted felt handbag for sale.

    Felt bag by Dorota. Pointer

    Entirely hand-sewn. Base: polyester felt, 100% PE. Motif: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Unique and inimitable design. Inside: cotton fabric, closes with zipper, inside pocket. Available now for $220.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #2 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  3. Decorative collar for sale

    Handcrafted decorative collar for sale.

    Decorative collar by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Ethnic layered cloth jewelry constructed on a cotton base and adorned with ribbons, tassels, and a yellow fringe. Fastened on the side with 11 buttons, fitted entirely with a pleasant lining. The style is an Indo-Asian-African multinational color combination. The collar is very extravagant and an extraordinary addition to any clothing, guaranteed to attract attention. Just a simple dress and a unique image is ready. Dry-cleaning recommended. Available now for $200.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #3 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  4. Seamless handbag for sale

    Handcrafted seamless handbag for sale.

    Handbag by Sylwia. Pointer

    Handmade from felted all-natural Australian and South American wool. Entirely felted, seamless. Finished with a white lining, inside is a small pocket. Lining is sewn and stitched in by hand. Available now for $180.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #4 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  5. Patchwork quilt for sale

    Handcrafted patchwork quilt for sale.

    Patchwork quilt by Alicja. Pointer

    Bedspread made of cotton and polyester material. Inserted with polyester lining. 90 by 70 cm. Available now for $120.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #5 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  6. Nuno-felt shawl for sale

    Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl for sale.

    Shawl by Sylwia. Pointer

    Scarf made ​​with the nuno felting technique (wet felting fibre into a silk gauze) using South American wool. Two-sided scarf with latticework at the ends. Wholly in the colors red, black, green in an abstract pattern. Available now for $100.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #6 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  7. Clara the doll for sale

    Handcrafted clara the doll for sale.

    Clara by Alicja. Pointer

    Clara loves roses and greenery, adores tormenting spiders with long legs and sleeping soundly in the afternoon. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #7 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  8. Noah the doll for sale

    Handcrafted noah the doll for sale.

    Noah by Alicja. Pointer

    Noah doesn't know what to like and what not to like but keeps wondering and thinking about it. Cuddly toy made of cotton and polyester, stuffed with polyester lining. Available now for $70.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #8 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  9. Black suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted black suspenders for sale.

    Black suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders from black material with a rose motif on one side and striped cotton on the other. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #9 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  10. Orange suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted orange suspenders for sale.

    Orange suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and orange material with a Polish floral folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #10 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  11. Green suspenders for sale

    Handcrafted green suspenders for sale.

    Green suspenders by Zuzanna. Pointer

    Two-sided suspenders made of denim and green material with a mountain folk design. Connected by a leather triangle. Adjustable length. Hand washing in cold water recommended. Available now for $50.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #11 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  12. Felt earrings for sale

    Handcrafted felt earrings for sale.

    Felt earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: South American woolen yarn, dyed, 100% wool. Hand-worked with a needle. Pendant of anti-allergenic metal. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #12 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  13. Round ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted round ceramic earrings for sale.

    Round ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #13 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  14. Oblong ceramic earrings for sale

    Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings for sale.

    Oblong ceramic earrings by Dorota. Pointer

    Material: Glazed ceramics, hand-molded. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #14 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

  15. 'Coral' necklace for sale

    Handcrafted 'coral' necklace for sale.

    Corals by Sylwia. Pointer

    Necklace made ​​of cotton pieces with organdy and decorated with beads, suspended on cotton strings. Can be worn as a necklace, as a brooch or as a belt tied at the side. Available now for $40.00. Ships free of additional charge via USPS (uninsured) unless otherwise directed.

    To purchase please mail a USPS money order in an envelope clearly marked Lot #1/Item #15 to M. Slaby at house number 201 on Ridge Road in the town of West Milford, in the state of New Jersey, one of the beautiful United States of America. The postal code is 07480-3112.

Handcrafted t-shirt fundraiser
Handcrafted felt handbag
Handcrafted decorative collar
Handcrafted seamless handbag
Handcrafted patchwork quilt
Handcrafted nuno-felt shawl
Handcrafted clara the doll
Handcrafted noah the doll
Handcrafted black suspenders
Handcrafted orange suspenders
Handcrafted green suspenders
Handcrafted felt earrings
Handcrafted round ceramic earrings
Handcrafted oblong ceramic earrings
Handcrafted 'coral' necklace