Samples of Fiction from Michal's Corpus

Michal's Fiction Corpus of Acceptance Literature (FiCAL) is presented under the Bare Bottom imprint. It is currently comprised of six bodies of work, each representing a different pillar of culture and incorporating a wide variety of writhing styles.

If you're wondering...

How do I use this?

Just click on a title to see examples of "fiction" from a particular work. You'll stay on the same spot on the page, only the Table of Contents will disappear. To get back to the Table of Contents just click next to the image of the Bare Bottom imprint where it says "Back to Samples of Fiction: Table of Contents."“And...?”

In the case of common words, a Table of Frequency and a Table of Collocation provide numerical information about how many times a word appears in its original or modified form and with which words. It can help to give you an idea of how common words are used and in what contexts. Find them in the "Common Words of English" part of the Education section.“Ok.”

Why a Fiction Corpus?

The popular understanding of the word "fiction" and its complement "non-fiction" is a reflection of the cultural influence of a classification system. The Dewey Decimal System is responsible for separating "fiction" from all other work and categorizing it by author's name. This has influenced the popular idea of fiction as a narrative that tends to be "untrue" and the product of an individual's fantasy, a bias compounded by modern art's century-long obsession with abstraction, surrealism and self-expression.“So...?”

My idea of fiction rests on the idea that art doesn't have to be factual to be a true reflection of our existence. Adam and Eve didn't have to exist as two individuals 700 generations ago for them to be true portraits of two human beings trying to work together.“And...?”

The Bible is a Fiction Corpus. It is a body of writing that isn't overly concerned with facts and yet its words carry weight. It was written by many different authors living in different places with different audiences in mind, yet everyone gleans something from it.“Right...”

In preparing my fiction corpus, I have striven to see the world through the eyes of others. Through the eyes of my Adams and Eves I hope that you too will glean some truth about our existence. At the very least you will learn some more about how one man can use the English language.“Ok.”

Who are you, Michal?

I'm just a guy who makes art. And if you're interested in making a solid investment in an aesthetic that supports our present and future welfare, then I will help you look for something that you can buy.“How...?”

Everybody makes. Everybody sells. Some people know how to protect their interests. Some better than others. Few people know how to listen. Listening to somebody means considering their interests as if they were your own. Going out and doing something to satisfy another person's interest is how we build a strong economy. Without a strong economy, democracy collapses.“And...?”

Buying 4Occupy is buying for democracy. Don't give your money to somebody who's ruining it. There's no such thing as cheap democracy, quick democracy, or easy democracy. There's good, solid, complete democracy and the tyranny of feudalism. Let's not mix the two. Let's not buy everything on the cheap. Let's not create another tyrant and enslave ourselves because it was easier not to think about what we were doing. Let's protect our interests. Let's listen.“Ok.”

Who's really behind this site?

Have you ever been to one of those post-it-yourself retail websites where there's a really attractive top-seller ready to give you tips on how you can be a top-seller too?“Uh...”

Have you ever been to a "job" interview where you sit in a line, walk through one door, get hired as a contractor and walk out another door, so that the other applicants don't realize that everyone's getting "hired" to work in the same market?“Maybe...”

The internet is full of people who are ready to exploit your ignorance. They are people who want to make money at the expense of our economy. They are cheats.“And...?”

I, Michal, am behind this site. Not some fat plutocrat exploiting my image. I like to do things the right way. I like to work with people who take the time to do things right.“Why...?”

I used to work for a company that didn't do things the right way. My labor was exploited because of mismanagement. That company was the United States Postal Service, an independent agency of the United States Government that is ultimately controlled by Congress. I'm mad because if the Federal Government can exploit labor, who is going to stop every other cheat from doing it?“Labor Unions...?”

Don't say labor unions. I went to my labor union and they did nothing. They ignored me because labor unions aren't democracies. Holding a free and fair election for a "representative" once in a blue moon does not equal people ruling. Democracy means open government. It means we the public need to accept the hard work. It's the only way to secure liberty and equality.“Ok.”

What's the difference between use and usage?

Definition-wise, not much. But the -age suffix is ultimately French in origin and with most things French, at least in American eyes, the immediate thought is that of something precious and arcane whose value should be judged very carefully. This is in contrast to the word France, which is associated with a beautiful place. Thus people in France or from France are beautiful, warm, kind people. Generous even. Unlike French people who suck. Unless you're frenching, in which case you're only sometimes sucking.“And...?”

Along those lines, usage means you're in bed. Use means you're just heavy petting. Also notice that common people, like common words, get used...whereas "proper" things make "appearances." Whether or not you are being exploited is a different story. Exploitation is what happens when somebody uses you or your property without listening to you. Listening is what happens when you consider another person's needs as if they were your own. You don't have to satisfy those needs. All you need to do is consider them. So many of us can't even do that.“So...?”

Help stop exploitation. Buy 4occupy. Buy a better world. Whether or not you feel you can afford to buy art, consider joining my protest. I want to guarantee every working man and every working mother on this planet a 15-day universal holiday. But I can't. Only we can do that. We have to work together. We have to accept the idea that everyone deserves time for himself and we need to build that time into a new kind of calendar. We have to give peace it's own day. We have to make love something you can't avoid. We have to make even the most miserly cold-hearted capitalist among us say that he cashed his check on Love Your Neighbor Day. There won't be any other way to say it once the Acceptance Calendar is widely adopted.“Ok.”

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Samples of Fiction from Death to McDonalds

An aerial view of Dodger Stadium in the foreground, with an imaginary partially submerged Los Angeles behind — A story bible for a comic book series set in a post climate-change California narrated by eight characters who live through a natural disaster that sinks Los Angeles and triggers a war with an expansionist Mexican government covertly supported by China.

Frame #1333

vegas has a new simulator coming out. some kind of space train. its gotten good reviews. i know what apple would say. rich mans dominos.

JC Penney

10 August, 9:30 PM

Frame #3395

i called minecraft. shes been reinstated for now. her status is under review. she sounds happy. i told her my idea. shes says wheres the money.

Chase Credit

5 September, 10:15 AM

Frame #3978

were on our way to paradise hills. theres a school there thats good for kids with special needs. according to the online review.

Chase Credit

22 September, 9:13 AM

Frame #3984

were at the academy. the key word in the online review was safe. i didnt realize it was a christian academy. more girls in plaid skirts.

Chase Credit

22 September, 11:02 AM

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Samples of Fiction from The Gospel of Jesus H.

A picture of the planet Mars — An experimental science fiction Christology that makes Jesus the hard boiled narrator of his own early years on a bizarro earth made dark by volcanic ash and informally ruled by a man from Mars who sells bottled air.

When he returned to his grandmother's house, she asked him what he was going to do. "Visit my grandfather's grave," he said. "Then: I don't know. Go back to Treblinka: look at my father's books. Find out what in God's name was so important." Jesus did not lack respect. Before long, he would not lack knowledge either: his father's books gave him the only systematic education he would ever need. His father never bothered to enroll him in school. Unbeknownst to Jesus, this decision had far-reaching political consequences, but, at the time, Jesus enjoyed his freedom in complete - or, more accurately, not-so-complete - innocence.

– Verse 335 from the chapter called Adolescence

"What!"

"No, listen to me: this way, if we don't like it, we don't have to do it again."

"Who's going to keep track?"

"Thirty-three minutes isn't long enough."

"How long do we have to do it?"

"However long it takes."

"Everyday? For thirty-three and a half days?"

"Don't forget: we have to do it twice a day."

"Twice a day! For thirty-three and a half days?"

"We don't have to do it twice a day if we don't want to," said one of our leaders. "We can do it whenever we want."

"We should have a schedule."

"No: that's too complicated."

"We should have a logbook."

"Logbook? What do you mean?"

– Verses 453-466 from the chapter called Adolescence

My dear child, if you ever walk by a dirty, old man talking to himself and selling his own books, and you wonder how this man came to be like this, now you'll know at least one way.

– Verse 73 from the chapter called Adolescence

What an asshole, I thought. Was he even aware of himself? So his ancestors imported game to Mars - so what? Grande cuisine: what Polack would make this for him? Why do our best chefs look outside our borders, or in books of foreign history? Don't they know that our cuisine is peasant cuisine? It favors the bold, not the delicate; the simple, not the rich. It finds what is common, not esoteric. It has its own subtle flavors which must be exploited, not abandoned. Like chicken broth: why did we abandon our Sunday broth? Once upon a time, it wasn't Sunday if chicken broth were not served for dinner. And why did we abandon it? For what? For leisure? For the sake of time? Or taste? Is it possible we actually prefer the taste of manufactured products? Like instant soup? Soup in a can? Or did that come later? Did we forget the taste of a boiling chicken's juice? Did we become estranged from our domestic traditions? Or did we choose to abandon them? Were we ashamed of chicken broth? Or disgusted? But why? when a woman like Catherine de Médicis takes it out of her ice-box and calls it aspic. Why were the French so enamored of it? Did they lack chickens or ice?

– Verse 70 from the chapter called Childhood

In those days, Jesus had very little money. His father's mother was dead. With her, the retirement pension died. If only she had had fewer friends, or if Jesus's uncle hadn't become a complete waste of time and breath, they could've tried committing pension fraud. As it was, Jesus's father kept selling books and eating heroin and Jesus began trying to sell furniture for food.

– Verse 355 from the chapter called Adolescence

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Samples of Fiction from Sex for Children

A drawing of a man between a woman's legs in front of another man in a hospital bed — A literature book narrated by a pair of siblings on either side of the Atlantic whose profoundly weird sexual experiences pose a serious challenge to their traditional understanding of mathematicians, marriage, gay young men and God.

ANDY: Oh, me too: that's what the book will explore: but that's why it's not going to be a commentary on the war: I just don't know any specifics.

CHR: Would you like to go to Iraq?

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 3, The Third Day, Part 2, Prayer & The Reformation, Section 10, Bringing Up a Sore Subject, Paragraphs 56-57

INDIE: Oh, is that right? Well, I'm not surprised you men are falling for it. I prefer to concentrate on the story.

ANDY: You know, the music's not bad.

INDIE: Oh, I know: but the music is there to illustrate the story, and it just so happens I know the story very well.

ANDY: Oh, have you read the novel?

INDIE: Novel? You mean it's from a book?

ANDY: Yes: it's a book by Anatole France.

INDIE: Oh, is it also called -

ANDY: Yes, it's also called Thaïs.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 12, Opera, Paragraphs 7-14

Returning the book to the shelf, I began idly wandering around the room. I stopped in front of the wall where Albert had placed his diplomas. There was an award for winning a mathematical Olympiad in Berlin: nineteen seventy-one. "Before my time," I said to myself, and I continued walking. I stopped in front of the large bay windows. I looked outside. Already 'twas dusk. There was no one in the street. I felt uneasy. Going to the fireplace, I looked for a fagot to burn. But there was nothing. Getting up off my knees, I glanced upon a strange object on the mantelpiece. It was a piece of paper - in a large ornamental frame. Written across the top in large print was the word, 'ACCEPTED.' But most of the paper was devoted to a large mathematical equation. I reached for the frame to get a closer look, but, when I removed it from the mantelpiece, two photographs fell to the floor.

– Title 3, Regarding a Dream, Chapter 1, The First Day, Part 1, Victory & Calendar Reform, Section 8, Financial Instruments, Paragraph 1

Now before London became such a giant metropolis, the area north of the river that now encompasses most of the city was called Middlesex County. Sometime during the Middle Ages, the county officials established their place of execution west of the Tyburn River, near what is now the Speaker's Corner of Hyde Park.

– Title 2, Regarding the Romaniac, Part 1, Section 11, Guidebooks, Paragraph 1, Clauses 1-2

As you know, Ms. Christie is enjoying ever growing success as an actress in her beloved hometown. Last year, she invited me to London to see her in that terrible production - she was playing the young Ms.

– Title 2, Regarding the Romaniac, Part 1, Section 11, Guidebooks, Paragraph 5, Clauses 2-5

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Samples of Fiction from Tsiga Tsiga Tsiga

Bullets whizzing by a statue of Nikola Tesla — A collection of stories featuring a sexy Parisian ghost, a spooky Moon base full of vagina-faced aliens, a policeman with an Irish name, a truck full of watermelons, a flautist, and a man who has to see another man about a diseased horse.

Much fiction surrounds the names Gog and Magog. According to my understanding, they were not giants or blood-thirsty monsters. They were not fallen angels. They were one man and one woman. They apparently loved each other, though they often quarreled. Whether or not they made up half their adventures is beside the point. They were definitely the first people to circumnavigate the world. The evidence for that, though circumstantial, is overwhelming.

– from “In the Beginning, There was Gog,” a fantasy story featuring a barbarian

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Samples of Fiction from Sorry Ms. Jackson

Chiseled letters from an ancient stone tablet hanging on a wall — A real play. With drama in it. Talk fast. It takes two hours. Set in a guest house. In a small community. After a murder. Lots of suspicion. The characters learn to listen to each other. It's funny.

GREY GOOSE: Are you saying you didn't squeal to the Aussies?

MS. JACKSON: I'm saying I didn't have to.

GREY GOOSE: Swear to me that you said nothing.

MS. JACKSON: I won't.

GREY GOOSE: Swear to it.

MS. JACKSON: No.

GREY GOOSE: Swear on the Holy Book.

MS. JACKSON: There will be no such swearing in my house.

GREY GOOSE: My house, woman! My house!

MS. JACKSON: Not anymore, you mangy, little womanizing can't-keep-his-hands-off-my-cook's-bottom descendent of a drunken, wife-beating man-whore!

– ACT I, lines 271-280

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Samples of Fiction from Miscellaneous Dingbats

The title of the book at the end of a string of miscellaneous dingbats — A story book full of short fiction stories. An interesting bedtime mystery. A fairy tale. Science fiction romance. Adult life. Uninspiring gay fiction. Horror.

The general continued. "Reports of our agents in the Perseus arm confirm the possibility that forces of Scutum-Centaurus are assembling within the shadow of the galactic core. Their presumed intention is to make further raids into the open clusters that border the near end of the bar. Rumors of a so-called hypersphere capable of transporting infinite mass via the brane strings are just that. Rumors. The Orion Star Alliance has concluded that Scutum is not planning further incursions into our territory. Nevertheless the military is on high alert. Dark matter mining will continue to increase. All projects confirmed within the last two galactic arc-seconds will be subject to review and possible suspension. That is all."

– from “Titan's Reign,” a science fiction story that absorbs all hope even when it's traveling at light speed

The Amazon was called. He decided Orbitz's exchange with the shopkeeper was a kind of code. He ordered that they both be watched. It wasn't hard to do. Orbitz didn't move from his hotel room. The shopkeeper stayed in his shop. Customers came hawking antique ray guns. There were bidets customized for extinct species. A collection of hand-painted mechanical snakes was ruefully turned down. After a few days the members of the surveillance team noticed something strange. The shopkeeper never bargained. If he made an offer to buy something it was invariably albeit grudgingly accepted. The rest of the junk he dismissed even if he liked it. "What a shame," he would say. "I wish I could afford it." In the same hour he would sell something for ten times its cost. He was making piles of money.

– from “The Death and Life of Captain Orbitz,” a science fiction romance based on my affection for Stanislaw Lem, if you know who that is